Grandpa Bill

 

We lost Grandpa Bill in March. It was Sophie’s first big loss. Bill was not a demonstrative guy, and he wasn’t one for child’s games, but it was clear that he loved Sophie. He took pride in her intellect and insights. He appreciated her calm, her focus, and her good humor. He showed his love in many subtle ways, perhaps the least subtle being the procurement of an enormous number of Scrooge McDuck comic collections for her. There is a wacky loveliness in the shared enthusiasm between a young girl and an MIT/Harvard conservative intellectual for beautifully illustrated badly tempered Disney ducks.

Bill also loved Celeste. Bill was a dog lover, and Celeste is a dog lover’s kind of dog.  I could see the joy he took watching her lie around looking sweet on her Tempurpedic dog bed or chasing her tail absurdly on her favorite rug at his house. He and Claudia generously took in Celeste whenever we couldn’t take her with us. It was always a comfort to know she was in amloving place while we were away.

Bill loved my family and grew to love me. I loved him as well. He and I were extremely different. Our political views were almost night and day. We had many political discussions over drinks or dinner that I grew to love. We disagreed mightily, but with respect and thought and attention. Bill always listened to me. He might disagree vehemently, but never with derision. Slowly over time, I came to realize that we shared many of the same values—honesty, respect, responsibility, kindness, courage—even if their expressions were different.

When Bill had his stroke, we were no longer able to have those long, deep discussions. I missed them, as I still do now. They gave me a lot of hope. If people as different as he and I could talk through our philosophical differences in meaningful ways—never backing down from our core beliefs but also admitting that there is a lot we don’t know—then I have to believe, even in these calamitous times, it is possible for many. Not easy, but possible. Love seems to be the key ingredient.

Speaking of love, while not a believer myself, I was impressed with the love shown by all the people at Capitol Hill Baptist Church for Bill and Claudia. The funeral was beautiful. Claudia was amazing. In that moment I could see all that she has built with her family, her friends, and her church. Their love comforted her as her love comforted them. While the sadness of death was present, so was the joy of life meaningfully lived, and time well spent.

Thank you to Claudia and Bill for always bringing meaning into Sophie’s life. Sophie was staying with Claudia and Bill on the night of Bill’s stroke. She went to the hospital in the ambulance with them. At the funeral she and Theo walked through Congressional Cemetery side by side seeming to understand and accept the complicated feelings and ceremonies of the day. I was very proud of her. She is growing up to be a thoughtful and caring person, already pursuing a life of meaning. Thank you, Claudia and Bill, for the big part your love has played in that development. We love you.